You Are What I Eat
by Amagoi
Summary: Aww, Inuyasha is making stew with his mommy! But wait...what in the world does this have to do with Inuyasha taking Kagome's shirt off? A silly, sexual Oneshot.


Author's Notes: HAHA! I had a _real_ dream about this fanfic. You might not believe that, but it's completly true. I've been having weird dreams lately, and they seem so real…so, the second I woke up, I jumped up, turned on my computer, & wrote this in 15 minutes flat, so that I wouldn't lose the idiotic idea. Anywho, this fanfic is strange, funny, & lightly perverted…read at your own risk! 

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, or it's characters. Takahashi-sensei does. I just steal her ideas & concepts, nyan nyan x3

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"Okay son, today, we're going to make stew for supper!" Izayoi said perkily to her teenage-looking hanyou son, "You wanna help?" her long black hair flowed behind her, as her royal Kimono garbs overflowed to the ground. She was so beautiful. But, wait…ahem…like, didn't she die? 

His doggy-ears went flat on his head slightly in suspicion. Inuyasha felt oddly awkward about all this, but nodded in his approval. For some reason, he felt _really_ hungry. And stew sound _really_ good right about now.

Suddenly a basket appeared next to the pot Izayoi was standing over, as if by magic. It was filled to the rim with different types of vegetables & herbs, and all the food looked really good. The pot instantly filled up with water, as steamed floated into the air from it, yet Inuyasha's mind didn't really portray this as odd…for some reason all this felt normal. Why was that?

"Okay, honey, hand me a tomato." she said to Inuyasha while holding out her hand. Inuyasha quickly obeyed, and picked up the round red tomato with a clawed hand, handing it to his human mother. Izayoi quickly dropped it into the pot, yet now it was all chopped up instead of a whole tomato, how did she do that?

"Next, a stick of celery!" she said perkily again, as if Inuyasha was still that little boy she had left behind in her death. Normally, Inuyasha would have been annoyed as hell as this, but for some reason, he wasn't…Anyway, as before, he picked up the green stick of vege', & handed it to his mother.

"Okay, good job honey! You're doing great." Izayoi replied happily again in verbal applause, and squeezed her son's cheek while smiling from ear to ear, "Look at you, helping me cook for your father! You're such a big boy, yes you are! Yes you are!"

And yet…our stubborn hanyou was _not_ acting stubborn…

"Okay, next, that…um…Do you know what that is, honey?" Izayoi asked unsurely, pointing to something in the basket. Inuyasha looked at it numbly, it certainly didn't look like any normal vegetable he'd ever seen. It looked like a green bamboo stick, actually…with little purple blossoms popping out of it in random places. Inuyasha nodded his head from side-to-side in disapproval, "Nope." he answered numbly, saying the first thing since this weird sequence started.

Izayoi sighed, "Oh well, it matters nil. Please hand it to me, honey" she asked in sugar-coated-sweetness, putting her hand out again. Inuyasha picked it up, and stared at it for a moment, instead of giving it to his mother, he sniffed at it. His strong hanyou senses loved the smell, like lavender or something. Now, what did this scent remind him off…?

Well, instead of handing it to his mother, he started nibbling on it!

"Inuyasha!" Izayoi scolded, putting her hands on her hips, yet still smiling while wagging her finger at him, "You can eat that, when it's cooked in the stew. Now please, give it to me?" she asked again, putting her hand out once more.

Inuyasha didn't really want to give it back, even though he had only nibbled on it, it had tasted _really_ good. And he was still _really_ hungry.

Izayoi, obviously tired & losing patience, decided to try & snatch it away from him. Inuyasha quickly turned around, so that his back was facing his mother, and continued nibbling at it, biting some of it off the top.

"I'm losing patience here, Inuyasha! Now stop playing around." Izayoi commanded, her lost patience evident in her voice, and started pulling on his shoulders, as if pushing him backwards. Inuyasha REALLY didn't want to stop nibbling on the vegetable, and pulled away from his mother's grip easily. With his back still turned to her, he sandwiched the vegetable between him & a nearby wall, and a loud _THUD_ sound was heard throughout the place for some strange reason, yet he continued to his nibbling.

"Inuyasha, stop!" Izayoi scolded again, trying to pull her son away from the wall, but Inuyasha refused to move. The vegetable was revealed to have a layered, skin-type covering, and he started pulling some of it off the top so he could eat more of it.

* * *

"INUYASHA! KAGOME! _What are you doing?_!" 

Wait, that wasn't his mother's voice…

Sango & Miroku stood at the doorway of the hut wide-eyed, and covering their mouths in shock. Well, more Sango. Miroku had more of a sly look on his face.

In the hut were Inuyasha & Kagome. And boy, were they in the most embarrassing position O.o;

Inuyasha had a strange dazed look on his face, with one hand firming pushing against Kagome's right shoulder, forcing her against the wall, and his other hand was making way at pulling off her shirt! His mouth was nibbling on her neck...

Kagome, now with the reddest face you will ever see, stared at her two friends in the doorway like a Doe caught in the headlights of an upcoming car, "Inuyasha, will you stop!" she yelled out at him, and he lifted his head slightly, "K'gome…?" he asked dozily, recognizing her voice, and Kagome quickly slapped him hard against the face, snapping him back to reality slightly.

He mumbled something incoherent, and now losing his youkai grip, Kagome pushed him off her.

God, he looked so high.

Kagome quickly stood up with a flustered look, putting her shirt back in it's rightful position, after it had been so inhumanly violated. "Well, 'bout time!" Miroku exclaimed with a sly grin, but Sango (with a face as red as Kagome's), quickly made way of punishing him for that remark.

ahem, _HIRAIKOTSU BONK_.

"…what…happen…?" Inuyasha mumbled in question while trying not to nod off, & staring up at Kagome innocently. But Kagome paid no heed to his question, "When you said that you wanted to stop & eat, I didn't think you'd mean _LIKE THAT_!" Kagome screeched at him, and quickly started chanting out "OSUWARI, OSUWARI, OSUWARI!" over & over, so many times, that now poor & tired Inuyasha was now 4 feet into the ground.

Kagome stormed out of the hut, brushing past Miroku & Sango. "You know, Kagome-sama…you seemed to be enjoying that for second th-" but Miroku quickly got cut off.

_HIRAIKOTSU BONK._

(Well, Kagome had been…)

"Keep an eye on that pervert while I cook the stew!" Kagome commanded to the Houshi & Taijiya angrily, trying to calm down her flustered-ness & her thudding heartbeat, while storming out of the hut.

Sango & Miroku, once Kagome was out of sight, headed over to the deep hole that was Inuyasha. "Are you alright?" Sango asked with slight concern. Hearing her, Inuyasha started to make way of crawling his aching body out of the hole, once fully out "Damn it, what's her problem? What did I do?" Inuyasha inquired angrily while rubbing his cheek where she had slapped him, when in truth, his whole body ached from the 'Osuwari's.

"For what you tried to do, it serves you right!" Sango said quickly in a scolding tone, losing her concern as quickly as it had come, and stormed out of the hut, "Houshi-sama, stay here with Inuyasha." she commanded him, and went to see if her best friend was alright.

Inuyasha, still not completely sure what in the world he had done wrong but too tired & hungry to actually ask, leaned up against the wall mechanically. "Sorry Inuyasha." Miroku said out-of-the-blue, while sitting next to Inuyasha.

"Sorry…fer what?" Inuyasha asked in a slurred voice, laying back down on the hut's floor on his side,beginning to fall asleep again. Miroku, with sly smile still painted on his face as if he were born with it (which he probably had been), grinned even wider, "For interrupting you two. You seemed to have been getting quite far, before we had-" but Miroku cut himself off, fore the hanyou wasn't listening.

He had fallen asleep.

"…mmm…"Inuyasha mumbled silently in his sleep, "…sushi…"

**FIN.**

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XD Well, it was strange, & had no purpose, but I think it turned out slightly funny :) Please, take a little bit of time out of your day, and review!

_Notes:_ If you didn't really get it, Inuyasha was having a dream about eating, because he was hungry. About halfway through the dream (when he picked up the flower-covered bamboo stick) is when he started "Sleep Walking" in real life xD; The green vegetable he had been eating in his dream, was actually Kagome, but he just didn't realize it. What Izayoi was saying & doing half-way through the dream to Inuyasha, was actually what Kagome was doing & saying to Inuyasha in reality. For example, when Izayoi tried to pull Inuyasha towards her from the wall, it was actually Kagome trying to push Inuyasha away from her & the wall. Get it? XD;

It's like when in those cartoons, the character's are dreaming about eating a marshmallow, and when they wake up, it turns out they were chewing on their pillow.


End file.
